By Ankush Bahuguna
Yes, women’s safety is one of the biggest issues this country is dealing with and believe us, there is nobody who wouldn’t support it, men included. Women need to be empowered, no denying that. But certain things are plain wrong and unfair, even if it is a woman doing them. It may be difficult being a woman especially while taking the public transport, but the harsh truth is, there are things women do too that make it a nightmare for everybody else. Here are 10 things we men want women who take public transport to know.
1. Despising all men just because women are unsafe in the country is just hateful. Not all of us are rapists. It is not nice to get those hostile glances every morning, being talked to in an unnecessarily rude manner every time. You wouldn’t want someone to misbehave with you either, now, would you? Don’t judge the whole lot on the basis of a few perverts. Don’t misbehave. We can do it too, and you would definitely not like it.
2. Please be civil. Do not break lines or queues as per your convenience. It is wrong for a man to do that, and it is equally wrong for a woman to do the same. A lot of women, especially middle aged aunties, assume importance and preference over the other gender. Just because you’re a woman doesn’t mean you get the privilege of breaking in and getting the ticket before the guy who has been waiting for his turn for the past ten minutes or pushing your way ahead to get into the metro first. It’s not empowerment, it’s just exploitation.
3. Don’t make issues out of nothing. If a man accidentally touches you, it doesn’t always mean he is trying to molest you. Public transports are crowded. There will be people standing on every inch of every space and whether you like it or not, there will be some sort of physical contact and there’s nothing we can do about it. We know it can be uncomfortable, but it is so even for us, not just you. Know that not all men, in fact most men don’t board trains and buses and metros to molest. If a man’s bag just grazes against your back for a moment, it’s not molestation. He probably doesn’t even know its happening. And there’s possibly no pleasure his bag is getting out of touching you. So, calm down.
4. Please use deodorants. Guess what, women stink too. Just as much as us men, sometimes even more. Please spare fellow passengers the horror of blistered nostrils. We might call you Rose, but you surely don’t smell like one. You have body odour too, just like us. And, it is totally normal – nothing to be ashamed of. Just don’t subject the world to it.
5. Please do not expect us to vacate our seats for you, unless it is reserved for women. There are a lot of women who demand even general seats. Just because a few guys do it out of respect or chivalry doesn’t mean those who don’t are being disrespectful to you. You don’t always need it any more than the person already sitting. There are reserved seats in every coach of the Delhi Metro. And, in case they are already occupied by women, well then, bad luck. You could stand and travel too. Don’t make it look like a woman not getting to sit is a shame on society.
6. A lot of you have long hair and it can get very annoying when that gets in our faces, on our clothes, everywhere, especially when the metro is already crowded. Please make sure you aren’t causing anyone inconvenience yourself before pointing at someone else (most probably a man). At least tie them up. Same goes for men with long hair. Nobody wants to be gagged with some stranger’s hair on their way to work.
7. It would be nice to see you offer your priced (reserved) seat for someone who actually needs it more than you, at least sometimes. Don’t take your obsession for a mere seat in public transport to an insensitive level. It would be nice to see you get up and offer your ‘reserved’ seat to the young guy who’s not feeling well or the old man who’s finding it hard to stand in the crowd.
8. Now, we know not all girls behave so irresponsibly, but a lot of girls cause nuisance and play the victim card. There are women who are too cool to grab onto a bar or a pole and prefer to sway from one end to the other, stumbling against people, creating a ruckus. Seriously, hold yourself, lady. Firstly, it hurts when you ‘accidentally’ step on our feet, and secondly, nobody enjoys banging into anyone randomly every now and then, regardless of how pretty you may be. Stop falling on people. The main reason why this is a big issue is because the moment a man does something similar, he’s labelled a pervert.
9. It is strange how the same woman who wants a personal space bubble of at least a metre even in a jam-packed bus or a metro and would never tolerate a man even accidentally touching her wouldn’t mind requesting (read ordering) people to ‘adjust’ her and fitting herself into that little space, making a dozen other people uncomfortable in the process. Just because we’re men doesn’t mean we don’t mind our personal space being intruded.
10. Stop playing the victim card and taking advantage of the fact that women safety is the prime concern of the nation. Even if you so much as argue with a woman about something that has nothing to do with ‘women exploitation’, more often than not, she would make it look like you’re harassing her. It is ridiculous how being a woman is all it takes to win any argument. Crowd is gathered, security is called and you’re threatened to be put behind bars. Why? Because you told her not to step on your feet.
We’re all for feminism and women empowerment, but let’s not uplift women by putting men down. What’s wrong is wrong.
Source: Men’s XP