My Body | My Mind | My Choice
His Body | His Mind | His Choice | His Money | His Lifestyle | His Habits | HIS LIFE – RESPECT IT!!!
Deepika Narayan Bhardwaj: So Deepika Padukone’s #MyChoice video hits internet and takes it by storm. Women start clapping, even though they do not know what is in the video to clap for. Oh come on Deepika (Bhardwaj) – It’s on “Women Empowerment,” Isn’t that enough? Ummmm….Well I am wondering if these women are clapping because 99 privileged women who have actually made all the choices in life are now talking about “choice” or because the video convinces them that they can do whatever they want since they are “women” and it’s their “choice” or because the video takes them away from guilt pangs that if men have done it then we can also do it even though we have cried over the same things for centuries but now let’s reclaim our freedom by doing exactly what they did! After all the real test of EQUALITY is to EMULATE MEN no matter if it is right or wrong!
I am a woman too and what I write after seeing the video is my Choice. And I choose to talk about choices of Men after seeing the #MyChoice video for Women. So here it is…..
- If you have choice to wear whatever you want, he has a choice to wear whatever he wants too. Do not call him outdated if he doesn’t give in to your fashion sense. It’s HIS choice. By the way when did you see him wearing slippers to a party or shorts to a conference just because he had a Choice? (Many Night Clubs have restrictions on what Men can wear. DAMN why the hell men don’t cry for their choices. Also never heard any uproar over Nigaar Khan’s comment over shirtless Gautam Gulati in Big Boss)
- You have a choice to be size zero or size fifty he has a choice too. Don’t call him baldy if he has a receding hairline. Don’t call him fat ugly old useless man and refuse to take him to dinners because you feel embarrassed. Don’t push him to join Gym/VLCC just because you want him to reduce. It’s HIS Choice.
- You have a choice to marry or not to marry. He has a choice to marry the one he wants to and say No if he doesn’t want to. He can marry a wealthy chic because he thinks it would make his life better just the way women marry rich men. He can marry a fair beautiful slim girl just like women want tall good looking guys. He can dump whosoever he wants. It’s HIS Choice. Don’t call him a Sexist. Bride refuses to marry dark groom
- If you can lie about yourself, your habits, your education, your job in a marriage, he can lie too. It’s His Choice.
- You have a choice to work or not to work. No one should dictate that. Well, he has a choice to earn or not to earn too. He has a choice to go for a job or sit at home too. Do not call him a loser if he doesn’t earn much. Do not call him a couch potato who is good for nothing. It’s HIS Choice.
- If you have a choice to have sex before marriage, or outside marriage, or not have sex at all, he has a choice to all that too. Do not file a rape case on him if you had sex before marriage and later he did not marry you. Do not file a dowry and domestic violence and physical and mental cruelty case on him if he has sex outside marriage. Do not call him impotent and cry he ruined your life if he does not have sex at all. Do not get him arrested if he is a Gay and loves men. After all it’s HIS Choice.
- If it’s your choice to love temporarily or lust forever, it is his choice too. It is his choice to love you temporarily and move on when he can’t just stand you. It is his choice to love you temporarily and move on when he finds someone better, someone hotter than you. If you can dump whoever you want, he can too. It’s his choice. It can be his choice to lust forever just like you! Don’t call him pervert, desperate. He can have lust. If it is your choice to wear a breast revealing dress, it is his choice to look at it and fantasize. It’s HIS Choice.
- If it’s your choice to love a man or a woman or both, it’s his choice too. Do not call him a namard because he loves a man and he could not gather guts to tell you that he loves men. Just like you were not able to tell you are a lesbian and made your choice to hide it, he hid it too and it was his Choice. Do not cry cheating then and get him arrested. Hiding – it’s His Choice.
- You are my choice. I am not your privilege. Ahhh well …you are also his choice. He is also not your privilege that he would behave exactly the way you want him to. The way he wants to be is his choice. Stop changing him because he is not your privilege. And if he refuses to change according to you It’s His Choice.
- If it’s your choice to come home at 4am or 6pm; it’s his choice too to come whenever he wants. Don’t be upset and presume he is screwing women around while he might be slogging in office just to make sure you can afford a holiday this year at a foreign location. If you can have work, he can have work too and he can choose not to come home because it’s HIS Choice.
- it is your choice to have his baby or not. Give him also a choice whether he should have a baby from you or someone else. Also, when you decide to get married to him but have someone else’s baby, do not beg for maintenance for that baby from him after a paternity fraud. To not pay for that baby It’s HIS Choice.
- If you have a choice to pick him from 7 billion choices or not he has a choice to pick you or reject you. Do not cry Sexism/Victimhood after he makes his choice. It’s HIS Choice.
- Your pleasures (to do whatever you want without caring a zilch about others) is their pain. Just like their pleasures are your pain! You make your choice to have your pleasures. Don’t be in pain when they indulge in their pleasures without caring about your pain. It’s HIS Choice.
- Take it with panache when he treats you as a snowflake and not the snowfall. Because how he treats you it’s HIS Choice.
- He has his choice. He can choose to empathize or be indifferent to you, your pain, your existence and your “womanhood. It’s HIS Choice.
- If he drinks and gets sloshed – don’t call him an alcoholic because it’s HIS Choice. If you are a teetotaller it’s not his mistake.
- If he doesn’t drink nor has non vegetarian – don’t mock him of being old fashioned because it’s HIS Choice. If you drink alcohol and he doesn’t it is not his mistake.
- If he works out in the gym for two hours while you would want him to be at home to take care of babies, do not call him irresponsible because he can make a choice to baby sit or hit the gym. It’s HIS Choice. At least he is not running away with the gym instructors and then asking half property! Getting cosy With Personal Trainers
- If he goes out and chats with other women, do not call him a flirt and other names. It is his choice to interact with anyone who he wants. Talking to whom, at what time, with how many, for how long it’s HIS Choice.
- If it’s your choice to call anyone bastard, mother fucker, dick, show them middle fingers, they have the choice to give back the same to you too. Don’t cry Victim then because you are a woman. How he talks to you it’s HIS Choice.
- If you slapped a man first, he should slap you back because it’s HIS Choice. How can she slap?
- Respect is not earned by Gender, it’s earned by who you are. If he doesn’t respect you for who you are – it’s HIS Choice.
- If you have a choice to accept AIB Roast and laugh out loud on the jokes, the journalist also has a choice to publish the story in the way he wants. It’s HIS Choice!!!!
Now, let’s talk about your choices. You talked of his mind being caged. Care to make a choice of removing some shackles from your brains too – that he needs to spend money when you go out, that he needs to save you when you are in trouble, that he needs to defend you when you are losing, that he needs to protect you all the time, that he needs to be the responsible one in the relationship, that he needs to be more conscious about finances and more and more and more?
Your mind is caged when you expect him to bear the brunt of every broken relationship. Your mind is caged when you feel you have a right on his money, his home, his assets and his property only because he chose to marry you. His assets and his own home before marrying you is his property and you never made any contribution to it. It is his choice to sell it or use it the way he wants. Don’t give the crap of choice when what you actually do is – restrain him from disposing those assets in which you contributed nothing because you have a choice of filing a false domestic violence case. Your mind is caged when you think you have done some favour to him by marrying him and thus he needs to be indebted to you for life. Your mind is caged when you sit at home and file for maintenance from him just because you want to teach him a lesson. Your mind is caged when you think he needs to pay you fat alimony because he is the one who has to pay invariably for this broken relationship. Your mind is caged when you expect him to treat your parents as parents while you treat his parents as useless objects in the house. Care to make a choice to discuss your own cages too?
Ms Deepika Padukone if it is your choice to open the bra strap in a video that’s supposed to reach millions of young girls you need to make a better choice to what you want to tell them. Doctors are already worried of rising numbers of teen pregnancy. You cannot preach choice without taking responsibility of those choices. Men do not get pregnant and no matter how it “hurts” the feminists and preachers of women’s rights, it’s a truth that no one can deny. Yes you can remove the baby because it is your choice, but those ipills and abortions would take a toll only on her body and no one else’s. Sex Education is not something that’s taught as a #MyChoice video that makes them disillusioned about the choices and freedom. I am the last person on this earth who does not want freedom for women. I am as free as all the men in my family. They are as free as the family desires. We aren’t animals where all that is to the species is having sex with whomever and whenever and then create and then forget. We are human beings and our choices cannot be summed up in a 2 minute video. Because life is lived off Youtube and every choice has an action or reaction to it!!!
To all the women out there who are so fed up with men around them and the expectations they have of you (as if you do not expect anything at all from the men in your life) –
Create a separate world – only of women. Be lesbians.
Borrow sperm and create your own babies. If it is a baby boy – kill them because you would anyways bring them up like a woman and he would be confused for the rest of life on how nature makes him think and do a certain way but you would want him to be a certain way. And – if you did not kill male foetus how anyways you would you be able to take the ultimate revenge on patriarchy anyways!
If this sounds too difficult I suggest you do something else – DO NOT MARRY. Declare it to the universe today. That you would not marry and ever feel someone is guiding your ways, habits, life. Easiest you know! Tell your parents the world now has no man that fits your bill. Marriage is name of adjustment for both the people in it and if you do not wish to make any adjustments then just do not get into it!!! A man who does not have any of his choices but need to respect all the choices you make.
Doing everything that a man does and exactly the way a man does isn’t CHOICE. It’s APING. It’s competition in the name of Equality. And asking women to take the path that “you” justify as the way to freedom is taking away “choice” of a woman who feels proud in looking after her family.
And – while you all indulge in a fit of male bashing for the alleged “restrictions” patriarchy or society make, let me share my personal experience with you. In my entire life I have seen more women putting restrictions on a woman’s freedom than a man. I have seen numerous fathers who have brought up their daughters just as equal as their sons and in several cases including my own, have given more freedom to their daughters than their sons. In my whole life I have seen women commenting and ridiculing women more than men. Examples replete where woman of the home got her own daughter killed in name of “honour” or was an absolutely equal party to the decision of throwing her out of the family. I have seen numerous examples where women of the home have been the biggest block in accepting the choice of her daughter than men. I have seen several fathers who have indeed gone against their own wives to let their daughters do what they want!
The most visible example – I have seen men being sandwiched between their wives and mothers as these women can just not be human with each other. Examples a plenty where daughter in law could just not stand mother in law and divided the family, forcing man to leave his parents, his family, friends and circles and he would have to choose between being a henpecked husband or a caring son. I don’t see women fighting for rights of women who are mothers in law or sisters in law ill treated by their son’s or brother’s wife.
Darlings – get your own community to respect your choices first and then target the other gender.
I am a 29 year old female. I have made a choice that I would get married when I want. There are pressures on me to get married, but I have held my grounds and I know I would marry only when I want. Easy? Ofcourse not. But I don’t go around blaming society for that. They have seen women of my age married with kids. They have their own thoughts and their own opinions. Stop blaming the society for its opinions. You don’t wish to abide by the rules – don’t but don’t beg for acceptance and put them down if your choice is not their CHOICE.
To end it – Deepika Padukone says “When you are not caged, when you don’t succumb to expectation – that’s when you are empowered!”
Girls – more than being caged by others – you are caged by your own self. Because you think being “slim” is the thing to “be” and go in depression if you are fat. Because you think being “sexy and hot” is when you would be accepted in the “circle” and if not you are not. You are caged by what to wear because if you did not wear that label or brand you would quite not fit into the circle. You succumb to your own expectations more than that of others. You succumb to your own expectation of having a husband that needs to act and behave the way you want all the time. You feel disempowered when he does not do so. You feel disempowered when people do not succumb to your expectations. You feel disempowered when the world doesn’t accept whatever you want to do in the name of a “woman.” It doesn’t do so for a man too. It’s just that you have a notion that ALL MEN HAVE IT TOO EASY!
CHOICE – comes with a lot of responsibility. Do not confuse choice with DISORDER!!!
Here’s a glimpse of demands of Women With Choice….20 Crore “Only” after barely an year of marriage under Domestic Violence Act…..
Disclaimer: I do not agree with a lot of things I have mentioned as “his choices” and support them at all but when it has all come down to #MyChoice then well….after all it’s a choice. You might get offended with #MyChoice so did I got disturbed with your #MyChoice.
Image Source: NewsLaundry
Source: Martyrs of Marriage